What's with Resolutions?

Resolutions! What are resolutions? Why do they become such a buzz word around New Year or Birthdays or an Equinox, etc.? Is it because these special days are like a reset for a fresh start? But why do we feel the need for a reset or a fresh start? Did we falter from our prior resolution(s) and hoped that this time it will be different? What is it that will make it different this time? What makes this New Year or Birthday different from the past one where we deviated from the promises we made to ourselves? 

There is nothing wrong with resolutions or wanting a reset or wanting to make them on these days marked by something special. But if repeating the same act has been yielding no result, may be it is time to take stalk of what went wrong, why our resolutions faltered in the past. Based on my own experience and those I have observed, it seems that most of us have outward-oriented resolutions. Most commonly, we set goals of “losing weight” or “spending more time with family/friends” or “eating healthy” or “quitting some detrimental habit”, etc. And sometimes we follow up with some practical plan and accountability. But even then, they are likely to fail or worse - not bring the satisfaction we hoped it would. Perhaps it’s time to examine what lies within our own mind and outlook that we can change first before getting a hand on these outward resolutions. May be it’s time to ground ourselves first in our own truth before setting lofty external goals. Yes, eating healthy or giving up an unwanted habit is absolutely a great idea. But before we go there, may be it is important that we dive into the question of what is it that urged the need to give that habit up or eat healthy. May be we need to ask ourselves how this new resolution will contribute to the world within us and around us, and if we deviate or fail, can we still hold space with compassion for ourselves? One could go further, and take a step back from outward-oriented goals and set resolutions that are more internal and directed towards how we think and speak, how we look at life in general.

So, this year, that’s exactly what I did. My resolutions are to slow down this year, to think, speak and take every action with intention, to say “yes” or “no” to people or things when I truly mean it, to learn from mistakes and grow.

​- d.h.